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| Is Group Support Right for You? | Study shows that self-help groups can have a strongly positive effect on us. In post-abortion recovery, this would be found at a weekend retreat, a recovery group, in a structured online group or in a more free-wheeling e-group.
Up till now, joining a group can be frightening. Imagine going to a first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and saying for the first time in a public, "I am an alcoholic." Or even just going to the first practice of a sports team at your new high school, or any other new group setting.
It is naturally to have many anxieties and fears about attending a weekend retreat or group support meetings. There are lots of questions that may trouble you such as:
 “Will I be the only one there with multiple abortions?”
“Will my privacy really be respected?”
“What if I begin to cry and can't stop?”
“Even if people didn't say anything unkind, will I witness fleeting facial expressions of condemnation and judgment, and experience even more shame?”
But don’t be afraid, the point is that the people who coordinate your particular support group almost certainly experienced the very same fears at one point, and will be able to talk about them with you.
In addition abortion, you may have had other experiences in your life that cause you to experience other people as harmful and unreliable. Meeting others in groups is a chance to experience people who are safe and honest. If you have had bad experiences with people, it can feel risky. The rewards can be as great as the risk.
Read what one girl wrote about the value of group support:
I run one every three months, and it is a “private” board on the message board system, so the group meeting for the experience has a private board and private chat room. It seems that of the women who start, usually about 30% end up dropping out...either they discover they aren't ready for it yet, or real life things come round and take up their extra time and they don't have the time to do it - but for those who stay in, it seems to be a very healing experience. The women who do the group tend to “stick together” on the main boards afterwards, and wind up becoming “phone friends” and even get together in real life now and then.. It seems to be a very good way for women to start healing.
But such healing can only come about when the solitude and confidentiality are dismantled, and one's story is opened to others who do not look for judging or condemning. Only then is it eventually possible, with the support of a small community of others who sympathetically assert the loss and respect the grief, to grieve one's losses to their fullness. The significance of social support to the grief process mirrors an important aspect of our human nature. Though we are individuals, we are unavoidably social beings. The shortage of social support will destroy our well-being. On the other hand, the experience of social support, in even a single relationship, can make our well-being stronger.
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