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| Grandparents and Abortion | Abortion is an event that may affect lots of close people and relatives including grandparents of an aborted child. They may be experiencing a deep pain. They may be remembering the aloneness they felt when faced with their child's pregnancy. They may share their sense of inadequacy when, after the fact, they found that an abortion had been chosen. Grandparents may remember their concern for their daughter or son and their desire for them to be free to move on with their lives. Sometimes grandparents remember their disappointment, and perhaps anger, at the fact that their child's life took an unexpected turn such as this. And sometimes they remember the deeply personal loss of their grandchild.
This is really a difficult time to overcome. But there are centers which encourage such grandparents to begin their healing journey so that, if in the future, their child seeks them out to journey with them as they resolve an abortion loss, they will be free to do so. Honestly, at the moment, written resources and support groups for grandparents are few. Nevertheless, certain people are working on encouraging the formation of such groups and pursuing the publication of more literature that will help support grandparents. At present, there are several centers that can offer you a compassionate ear and try to connect you with others who can understand and support your healing journey.
Sometimes the parents of the mother and father of the aborted child struggle after learning of an abortion decision. They display a sense of personal sadness and loss. They might express a sense of disappointment that their child made this decision without talking to them. Sometimes they disclose some anger over the turn of events. They often express great concern for their son or daughter.
Grandparents’ Feelings
- Sadness
- Nervousness
- Anger
- Grieving
- Loss of a dream for their child
- Grandfathers predominantly may be filled with rage and may act it out through involvement in the pro-life movement.
- “Where did we go wrong? Where did we fail him/her? Why couldn't they tell us?”
- Sense of failure
- May carry the burden of the abortion decision if they actively encouraged or forced the abortion.
- Feelings of inadequacy in discussing abortion and its aftermath with their son or daughter.
- Grandmothers may carry the burden alone if they encouraged the abortion in order not to tell the grandfathers.
- Desire to make their daughter get "better" if they see her grieving or struggling.
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