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| Emotions and Feelings |  Men are recondite partners in the abortion decision. By the highest standards, their role in this decision can cause a multitude of consequences that may follow the man through the rest of his life. Men have no say in the abortion decision because it is about a woman’s body and it is her choice. Later they face with the questions they ask themselves and face with the emotions they feel. Men often wonder “Why do I feel so poorly? I don't feel entitled to my grief and it was her choice, not mine.”
As the “men's” movement continues to grow through workshops and outreach programs and the numerous men's self-actualization movements, men contend more and more with their feelings.
The men’s role in abortion is a complex thing to describe. Read the scenarios that men have shared with:
- I knew she was pregnant and I attempted to stop her. I may even have gone to court for a restraining order.
- I knew she was pregnant. I didn't want her to do the abortion but I agreed with her decision since it was her body.
- I knew she was pregnant and I countenanced her decision completely.
- I knew she was pregnant and I constrained her to do the abortion. She didn't really want to do it.
- I didn't know that she had been pregnant and had had an abortion until it was over.
Men report the following reactions to an abortion loss:
- rage
- a feeling of impotence
- drug and alcohol abuse
- grief over the loss of fatherhood
- increased risk-taking conduct
- nightmares
- suicidal thoughts
- battering of the spouse or beloved who had the abortion or a subsequent partner
- becoming a father who is hyper vigilant with regards to the well-being of his other children
- strong desire to replace the lost child through another child
- becoming involved in the pro-life movements
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