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| Talk about Abortion |  There are many different things that may trouble you after abortion decision. Many men want to be strong for their girlfriend, wife, or beloved. But except this men may also feel scared for her. They may feel guilty or sometimes feel excluded. Besides, men may be upset and genuinely sad about losing the pregnancy. And simply men may be scared about the future.
Overwhelming majority of women want to know how their partners feel. That’s why men should share what they are thinking and feeling. They should talk about it. Woman will eventually have to follow her own thoughts and feelings to reach a decision, but it will help her to hear man’s thoughts and to know that her boyfriend or husband sincerely interested in her well being and her future. Men should remember that the final decision is hers, but your input is valuable.
Put Your Feelings into Words
“I feel guilty.” Some men feel guilty about “getting a woman pregnant”. If you pressured a woman into having sex with you, the responsibility is equal. Try to concentrate not on who is to blame, but on what you can do now and in the future. Let your partner know that you are sorry. Think about what you can do to prevent future pregnancies. Become more involved in prevention.
“Will we breakup?” Time after abortion procedure is very difficult for any relationship, but it could grow stronger if you take the time to talk and support one another. You have to be patient and show that you care.
“It’s so sad. I wanted this baby.” If you had hoped to continue the pregnancy, your sense of loss may be much greater. People who suffer a loss need an opportunity to grieve in some way. It is very important to have someone to talk to – someone who will listen and provide support. It may be a counselor or a close friend. Besides, there are some good books on grieving a pregnancy loss.
“I feel bad because I’m not a good provider.” Often men feel like a failure because they can’t afford a child. More and more families are relying on two paychecks to get by. You may feel that even if you take on extra work, your working all the time means you can’t be with her or with your child. Or, you may feel that even though it will be hard, it’s worth having another child. It is always better to share your thoughts with her and talk it through together. It may be you both set a goal to become more financially stable so that you can provide for a child in the future.
“I’m uncomfortable with abortion but I’m not really ready to have a child with her.” Most men and women eventually make a decision based not only on what is right for them individually, but also on what their child deserves. Money is important, but so is the strength of your relationship together, and how much attention you can offer a child. If you have religious or spiritual issues with abortion, consider talking to someone in your faith who will not judge you.
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